How things turn
by DanieSora
Summary: School AU drabble- Alfred walks home after a tiring day and finds someone who shouldn't be at the park at 2am. Why is he there?
1. Chapter 1

**Style: **School AU drabble | **Pairing: **RussiaxAmerica / Cold war pair | **Warnings:** language and some implications.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hetalia or any of his characters. If I did this pairing would be so hot that cold war would melt!

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**How things turn.**

Alfred F Jones is a young 19 teen taking a major degree in visual design.

Since he was a young boy he decided to be a Hero, soon he realised that was hard and a bit unrealistic so he kept being a Hero for his friends and aspired to create the greatest thing in the world- Games.

He enjoys the active part of it, making, planning, the creative ideas that come and fill his life and mind; He even decided to join in video design to include more views and special effects to his creative works. He must admit many are too patriotic but they are fun and people like them. He couldn't sketch for his life though so he works mostly with 3D.

It can be a bit boring, tiring and long. The late parts of render, and the process of 'copy' and 'paste' that takes for most of the final part of his projects, takes many hours and sometimes, like today, he is forced to stay working late on the little McDonald's joint near the park.

Don't take him wrong-, firstly he had to stay one hour late in school, then went to the library and then he needed a place to stay and have energy current for his laptop. This led to the joint where he can be found, every big project, until the 2am.

The blond grabbed his bag, rearranged his glasses waving to the cashier, a friend from college, and ran a hand through his hair, a cowlick making himself known by standing tall and proud as he stood out, and started crossing the park to his parents home.

The moon was full and the dark sky was clouded. A cold breeze hitting his naked arms making him shiver and rush his pace to get home and finally rest on his, oh so desired, bed. He was walking through the sky clear part of the park, no trees to hide the big moon, when he saw him.

Ivan Braginsky, 20 years and taking a major degree in fine arts. They have two chairs together and a competitively level that can not be considered normal or even healthy.

They fight verbally and enjoy making mental games with each other. Once, a long time ago, they were close friends, now they are merely colleagues with mutual _loathing_. A stupid fight brought that but none of them want to admit defeat and to be honest, Alfred can't even recall what brought their sour relation. Even sour Alfred always kept close to the Russian student; he stayed close enough to know things but far from talking or acting directly with him. He misses him and wished the other felt the same but he makes sure to let Alfred know he doesn't.

The curious thing about the Russian student was not that for once he was not sketching but that he was holding his arm tightly in the middle of the night while staring intently at the moon. Alfred knows as a fact that the Russian likes to be home early since is mother died; he likes to keep one eye on his sisters and father. His curiosity was peaked with this as he walked closer.

Alfred, being the awesome person that he is became a bit worried when he realised that something was very wrong. He could see something dark growing on the light brown coat of the Russian. His instincts started peaking up and, invaded by a sense of curiosity and protectiveness, he decided to walk closer and tease the man a bit. _He just wanted to tease, really._

''Sup dude, creeping on the park?'' he grinned.

The Russian turned to him in apparent surprised and the slight orange light on the park made Alfred see that his eyes and nose were red, probably from crying.

''What do you want Alfred?'' he spat with his childish soft voice, placing a fake smile on his face.

Alfred frowned and looked to his arm, the wrong dark thing was blood, the light turning it into a shade darker but not even the pressure the Russian made on the arm was making it stop; perhaps there's another source but he looked at his face and it was vacant as always. Purple eyes narrowed staring at him and Alfred felt a pang of something in the bottom of his stomach and wanted to help him. Of course he knows the Russian won't ask for help but he is worried and decided to be blunt about is intentions.

''What happened?'' The Russia moved his eyes to the full white moon and Alfred sat on his side. He knows he can't force help on the tall man, he knows him too well.

This close he can see his scratched face, the moon light and park lamp making his pale flesh looking a shade darker and the bruises dark pink. He wants to help, to know or al least to take him and clean the bruises.

The silence stretched and made Alfred uncomfortable; he looked at the free hand on the Russian lap and saw a paper.

''What's that?'' he tried to peek.

The Russian simply grabbed the paper tightly before sighing and shoving it to the American lap.

Alfred peeked to Ivan and grabbed the paper staring confused. It was a little sketch of a sunflower. One of the most beautiful sunflowers Alfred has ever seen actually. The Russian may have big clumsy hands but he had always draw as an artist. Alfred still has the draw he made for him when they were 14. 'A sunflower' as he named it, Alfred's portrait.

''It's the only one left…''

''Left?'' he asked and turned to Ivan who decided it was no use in holding the arm, now Alfred could see his side also bleeding. The coat was also ripped and torn making Alfred wondered who did that, Ivan is not one to stay quiet and take it, he fights back.

''He destroyed them all…'' he murmured softly and placed a hand on his face laughing an empty sound. Alfred flinched.

''Ivan…''

''_Nyet_, don't say a thing. I don't need your pity.''

''Tell me what happened, please…'' he pleaded. He was surprised to feel that he meant it and was able to make it show on his tone. Ivan looked at him and flinched in pain grabbing his side.

Ivan proceeded to grab the piece of paper and stare at it as he talked.

''Father never liked the idea of his only male son to pursuit an artistic career, you must remember that…'' He looked hopefully to Alfred and he nodded.

Yes, he remembers. It that was his mother was who convinced his father to let him go to the art school. He was not pleased to know is son preferred art to maths, sports or even science. Alfred was still his friend at the time.

Ivan was a chubby young kid who was bullied a lot and Alfred used to protect him, and most of the times get assaulted _with_ him. Alfred misses those days, not because he had the chance of being the Hero or at least behaving like one but because after that he and the Russian would walk home together and talk about everything. They argued about politic, agreed about astronomy, talked about philosophy and shared design and colour ideas. This lasted until they were 16, Ivan grew tall and wanted to befriend everyone but was awkward about it, Alfred grew slightly geeky and popular making lots of friends. Along the way they grew apart, Ivan was too possessive, Alfred a free spirit. Ivan felt neglected, Alfred guilty… Then Alfred dated a girl and Ivan other. Somehow this made them argue about something he doesn't even remember…

Now they are here.

Alfred feels a pang of guilt and nostalgia, he was not there for Ivan when his mother died, and he was not there for whatever he is passing through…

He wants to help him, he wants to start their friendship again, and he wants to feel him close again because he may miss him a bit too much to be considered simply just another _friend_.

''I remember, did he went back on his word?''

''Yes…'' he murmured softly with a hint of hesitation.

''But it has been two years… three in a week right?''

''Ah, you remember.'' A small smile came to Ivan lips. Alfred flushed grabbing the frayed end of the Russian scarf and played with it. He is one of the few that get away with it without a punch.

''Is he-... he's been doing this since then?''

''_Nyet_, it started a year ago but this is for other reason…'' Curious blue eyes looked up and he frowned seeing the hurt on violet orbs.

''What would be so important to make you this?'' he blurt out and Ivan made a guilty face for one second and looked to the moon again.

They stood like that for minutes, Alfred looked up to his watch and saw that he had been there with Ivan for 40 minutes, give it or take. When he lost hope that he would talk the Russian gave a sigh and murmured ''Father found that I am gay…''

Alfred stared in surprise, he would never guess or even think of it. Alfred suddenly wanted to touch his face and hug him, tell him everything would be fine but he stood frozen, his hands still warped in the end of the scarf.

He was bisexual himself, he _knows_ how the people look to you, how parents freak out, how cousins start talking behind your back and friends go away. They don't understand. That hurts more than he would admit.

Ivan kept looking at the moon, but when Alfred decided what to say he spoke again. Alfred wondered at that moment if the Russian was measuring his words or gathering the courage for them.

''He ripped and destroyed all my works. Then he hit me telling me that no son of his would be a stupid artist _and_ a queer…'' Ivan eyes dropped to the ground and Alfred could see the tears threatening to fall. ''The worst was not that or even when he threw me out the door, no, it was the disappointed look on my sisters… I loved them dearly and they agreed with him and looked at me disgusted because he found that I dated a man for a few months…'' He laughed again empty and bitter and Alfred closed his eyes, agony creeping on his chest for the friend, yes friend, he still cares, he still feels him. He never stopped feeling him even afar.

''It was Toris, and you know who told my father? His own father because Toris was too _perturbed_ and _sad_ because of _me_, because I broke with him… He was perturbed and destroyed my life because he cheated on me with the polish guy and I had the guts to end it all… I just wanted someone to love me…''

Alfred could feel the scarf shaking, he knew the Russian was shaking ''He didn't even love me… he just… I…'' Alfred opened his eyes and saw the Russian holding his face, tears finding their way through big fingers and Alfred hugged him tight.

He didn't took notice of the tensing body under him, the flinch of pain Ivan did or even when himself started crying. He understood now why they fought all those years ago. They loved each other but didn't knew, they didn't bear someone loving the other, they never stopped care even all those years and he left him all alone, to be hurt.

Alfred failed as Hero, he failed as friend. He failed to understand when the Russian brought him the sunflower and tried to make peace between them he had just realised his own feelings. He failed to understand that all the times he tried to tease the Russian, fought so hard to be seen by him was the time he was suffering and avoiding him to forget the rejection. Alfred only made it worse being always there, always trying to be there to make the other simply look at him. He failed with himself, he failed to realise it until now that the damage is done.

''I'm sorry… I'm sorry Ivan…'' the Russian found his way between them and awkwardly hugged him back.

''I'm sorry Alfred… I… didn't know… Forgive me…''

Ivan stopped shaking after long minutes but both were slightly warm from each other body, backs frozen by the cold spring breeze. Alfred cleaned his eyes with his hand and ignored the fog on his glasses.

''Did you love him?'' Alfred asked afraid of the reply, but not sure if some reply could ease him.

''I was getting there…'' he admitted.

Alfred pulled apart and he noticed the lower lip of the tall man went bitten and bruised along the time they were hugging. He ran a hand through his hair and looked to his watch, 4:23am. His parents must be worried to death by know.

''Do you have where to stay?'' He asked the sullen man and Ivan simply shook his head. _Of course not... stupid question Al... _he thought.

''Let me take you home, you can clean that and stay for a while…'' he chuckled softly and added to light the mood ''Ma missed you and I'm sure dad won't mind…''

''I couldn't…'' Ivan shook his head and looked to the ground.

''I know things are so much different now but, let me help you…''_ 'Let me make it up to you'_ he added on his head standing and holding out a hand.

Ivan looked at his hand then at his eyes as if reading him and Alfred closed them not wanting to see the deep purple studying him.

''Let me be your hero again _Vanya_…'' he said softly eyes closed tight missing the softening purple on the other side.

Ivan shook his head and gave him a sad smile holding his hand with the uninjured hand while standing up with a soft low sentence. ''Only this night.''

It was all he could ask.

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**Notes**: I'm sorry, I'm depressed so I made a little depressing drabble...

I couldn't work on the other stories somehow and wrote this... *nods*

Thank you for reading and forgive me any mistake.

Reviews are appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Style: **School AU drabble | **Pairing: **RussiaxAmerica / Cold war pair | **Warnings:** language and some implications.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hetalia or any of his characters. If I did this pairing would be so hot that cold war would melt!

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**How things turn.**

Silence escorts them to Alfred's house but he no longer feels uncomfortable by it. It's a needed weight on his mind as his heart twists when he looks to the silent tall man.

The park is long gone but the cold breeze keeps chilling his flesh. They walk slowly, Ivan a bit behind Alfred due to a twisted knee and diligent pain on his side and arm. He doesn't hiss in pain, he doesn't curses and he doesn't show the pain in some physical direct way but Alfred looks into purple eyes and sees it there. He can't discern if it's a physical pain or emotional though.

Alfred is blunt in all his manifestations, Ivan is not. Alfred had a bit trouble to get used and understand how Ivan worked but after so many years he can't see him in any other way.

Some rays of sun appear in the low dark horizon, and Alfred knows it's almost 5am.

His house comes to his sight and he bites his lip. Yellow lights, leaving the half closed windows, are turned on and he just hopes they are not too mad or worried.

He looks behind gazing the Russian hesitating and he places one hand on the good arm to make him walk, no words are exchanged, no more words than the ones said before are needed.

He grabs his keys and opens the door, suddenly someone attacks him with a hug and a heavy sight.

''Alfred, _Oh God!,_ You left me so worried! Why didn't you called?'' his mother almost yells in despair and he rubs the back on his head awkwardly as she hugs him too tight.

''I forgot my phone… sorry ma.'' As he said this he sees blue matching eyes rising to glare at him but she looks up and they widen in surprise.

She passes Alfred and walks to the shy looking Russian, who tries to shrink into his scarf, with blue concerned running his form. Alfred chooses to bluntly ask her before she starts making worried questions.

''Yeah, can we have him here today?

''But of course. Oh Ivan dear, what happened?'' she grabs gently Ivan arm and pushes him inside, he mumbles a low thank and a vacant 'It was nothing that deserves thought' making her not pressing the subject.

Alfred mother calls his brother, at night school, and dad, who was worried sick at work. Alfred leads Ivan to the bathroom showing him what he will need for the wounds.

''You have here all what you need... you should take a bath to clean that. I know my clothes will be tight but I would prefer if you wore them instead of that…'' Alfred says rooming through the several healing items at display of his bathroom shelf. Ivan nods and says nothing and Alfred sighs.

''Will you keep ignoring me?''

''I am not ignoring you, I simply have nothing to say.'' He states not leaving his place at the bathroom door, distantly he heard Alfred mother grabbing the extra cushions and blankets from the basement to place them on Alfred's room.

Alfred sighed and made a gesture for Ivan to enter on the bathroom as he left to grab clothes, when he got back Ivan was staring at himself on the mirror with a distant look and curved down lips and Alfred made a loud sound with his foot making the tall man look at him instead and curve the lips upwards again. So fake that Alfred wanted to punch him for trying to smile.

''I think this will fit you nicely…'' he places the clothes above the closed toilet and Ivan nods.

''Thank you.''

Alfred walked to Ivan and placed a hand on his face. ''Stop that, you are not what he said and you should stop worrying about what people will think.'' Ivan kept silent and Alfred couldn't help notice how cold the Russian pale flesh felt under his open warm palm.

He removed the hand and walked away stopping at the door. ''You won't let me be your friend again am I right?''

''I said only tonight…'' Ivan trailed and Alfred could hear clothes shifting but he didn't look back.

''Why?''

''Things changed.'' Always vacant and Alfred frowned, _why can't he be direct just for once?_

''You say that because you want more or because there's no way or having what we had?''

Ivan fell silent again and Alfred closed the door with a loud bump.

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''What happened to him Al?'' his mother asks at the door of his room and he shakes his head.

''Personal things… don't worry ma.''

''Will he be okay?'' she walks to him and caresses his hair a hint of knowing on his voice and warm eyes. _  
_

''Yeah, he's a tough guy.'' She simply hummed, kissed his cheek and walked away slowly.

''You father was mad and will punish you but I told him what I saw so I guess it will be a lighter punishment. Don't make us worried like this again Alfred.'' She trails as she leaves and Alfred sighs lying on the soft bed feeling exhaustion creeping into his tired body and mind.

A soft knock awoke him from his almost sleepy state and he opened the door. Suddenly he could recall those long gone days where a chubby Russian would do the same and play with him all night or until his father start yelling profanities because of their noise. Sometimes Matthew would he there too, most of the times not.

Alfred stepped aside running his eyes through the Russian. The light crème scarf neatly around his neck and above the red tight shirt Alfred lent him. The red fabric clung to the broad chest and Alfred could see some of that childish chubbiness on the soft lump of his belly. The dark brown shorts barely hiding the strong tights. He adverted his eyes and closed the door, the Russian instinctively sitting above the makeshift bed on the ground.

''Better?'' Alfred asked sitting again on his own bed and feeling a bit subconscious about being in pyjamas around the tall broad man who looked good _even_ in pyjama.

''Thank you.'' Ivan nodded and played with the frayed ends of his scarf. Alfred closed the light and lay on the bed listening the soft deep breaths the Russian did.

''We changed, that's why we can't be like we used to be.'' A soft voice says and Alfred nods in the dark.

''That's why you keep avoiding me even after I tried to show you that I want help you?'' Alfred asks knowing the answer and laying on his side, staring at the darkness where he knows Ivan his laying. He can hear the blankets shuffle and shifting, then see the outline of his body.

''You don't mind?'' Ivan asks and Alfred confused bites back ''what?''

''What I am, _how_ I am…'' the voice his shy and hesitant and Alfred smiles at that.

Ivan doesn't know he is bisexual, only a few friends and important people know. Their friendship ended before Alfred realised the confusing feelings he had towards his male best friend. He denied it for a long time and only his mother realised it leaving him follow his path and simply comfort him when he decided to admit. His father was not very amused though but she has a way with the man and he accepted it with time.

''I never minded.'' He says and grabs the pillow close to him. ''Are you willing to let me help now?'' he asks lowly and hears a soft chuckle.

''No, I am not.''

''You are a bastard you know?'' Alfred teases smiling as he runs his eyes through the outline of the on the ground.

''So I have been told.''

A few seconds pass and Alfred can see the rays of sun hitting the window letting him see the face of the Russian. He had his eyes closed and was breathing slowly making Alfred think he fell asleep but he opened his mouth and Alfred saw him falter and hesitate before nodding to himself and finally talk. Two purple orbs peeking to the bed.

''I would like to continue from here if you don't mind.'' Alfred eyes widened and he felt his chest tightening, relief that he didn't knew he would feel flooded his lungs making him releasing a breath.

''Yes, I would like that.'' the purple eyes glow with the distant rays of sun as they close and Alfred hold tightly the pillow under his hand.

No more words were said.

.

They slept for three hours; Alfred had classes at 8 but missed the first one wanting to know what the other would do on the next day.

Ivan was neatly straightening the blankets and clothes when Alfred came from the bathroom.

''Where will you go now?'' Alfred asked and Ivan shrugged.

''I told ma...'' the Russian turned to him with a glare and narrowed eyes and he rolled his blue eyes. He never told his friend confessions and he would not do it now. He secretly thanks Ivan for doing the same.

''Not that, dude! I told her that you don't have where to stay and she told you can stay on the spare room. You will have to share it with the cuddly bears and stuff though…''

Ivan shook his head ''_Ny_- no. I said only one night.''

''But it was barely one night, it was already day dude!'' Alfred frowns as the Russian grabs his clothes to change into them.

''Hey, stop that and listen to me!'' he positioned himself on the door not letting him pass as he crossed his arms.

''What do you want?'' Ivan asked with an annoyed tone but curiosity on his face and eyes.

''You said you wanted to try from the point we are so I'm making my part! No friend of mine will become a homeless.'' He glared receiving another glare.

''Alfred, let me leave.'' the russian sighed and Alfred shook his head with conviction. Yes, he is stubborn too!

''No!''

''Alfred. I don't need your pity and won't admit this.'' Ivan said with a vacant cold expression as Alfred sighed exasperated.

''What? A friend who cares? You are a strange person Ivan, normally people want people who cares around them.'' He grabbed his arms inching closer to him as Ivan fell silent.

''Stay here until you at least have somewhere else to go.'' He pressed and Ivan sighed.

''I'll stay. Only a few and no more!'' he adds and Alfred hugs him missing the vacant tone.

Alfred felt him tense but then he relaxed and his head came in contact with his neck making Alfred giddy and pet the soft hair. He misses how affectionate the Russian can get.

He knows nothing is the same but some feelings remain the same and he is totally willing to continue forward even if the other makes it difficult. He does not give up on people he loves, and the Russian is still special for him.

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After Alfred went to school, and for once not saw the Russian on the class they had together, he crashed home tiredly and his mother gave him a little smile making him worried.

''What's wrong?''

''You should go to your room Al, Ivan left you something.'' she said and he parroted.

''Left?'' _On no he didn't! _he narrowed his eyes concerned and angered, _he said he would stay!_

She nodded ''He said he needs to go away from here. I called his sister, she was very worried.''

''Thank ma, you did well.'' _'I guess..'_ He walked to his room frowning, anger, guilt and disappointment craving nails on his chest.

The makeshift bed was above his bed with a little paper with a sunflower. It was the one he showed before, it was crumpled and worn but the sunflower looked as sunny as always. He frowned looking around and turned the paper around clenching his teeth.

_''You were right, I want more. I'm sorry but I can't stay here Alfred. Thank you for everything. Ivan.''_

''That Bastard…'' _'It's you who doesn't understand...'_ his heart clenched and he swallowed the lump on his throat. He looked again to the sunflower as he punched the wall and ignored how his brother entered on the room concerned making questions that turned into background noise in Alfred's mind.

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**Notes**: I'm sorry, I'm depressed so I made a little depressing drabble...

The continuation is the story 'Twists and turns'. I decided to keep this as a two shot. enjoy.

Thank you for reading and forgive me for any mistake.

Reviews are appreciated.


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